Getting Kicked Out

At a typical university around our great nation, if for some reason you need to switch schools you usually say that you are going to "transfer." At the Air Force Academy, you cannot transfer but you can "quit." You can quit and accept all of the negative connotations associated with quitting. This usually consists of you admitting defeat, surrendering to the USAFA gods, possibly getting disowned from your family, and wearing a mark of shame the rest of your life.

It should also be noted that you cannot join the cadet ranks midway through your college career. Even if you have three years of college under your belt if you want to throw your hat in the air with the Thunderbirds flying overhead you have to start all over from the beginning.

Besides quitting, the other way out of the Academy is to get kicked out. While everybody knows "that guy" who gets through somehow, I would like to assert that it is near impossible to get kicked out nowadays. The only path that has beefed up its kicking cadets out policy is the honor division. If you get into honor trouble as an upperclassman, that is surely the quickest way out of our institution. The other fast way out is to get two alcohol incidents.

It is possible to be on academic or athletic probation for multiple semesters. Even if you get "hard ARC'd," a majority of cadets that have shown some sort of improvement (even if it is barely anything) get to graduate. Kicking someone out for military-related events is the hardest thing to do. Even if everyone knows a certain individual is a dirtbag, and they continue to have paperwork pile up on them, it literally takes an act of Congress to justify forcing someone to leave.

I attribute this to what I call the "BCT mentality." At some point down the line in Basic Cadet Training, the leadership changed their mind on how we should look at kicking basics out. One day, the thought process was to get rid of the vermin of the flight that would not be able to handle the rigors of the Academy lifestyle. This served as a filter for all of the worthless kids who only got in because their daddy knows somebody. At some point, though, it was made clear to BCT cadre that if a basic left it reflects poorly upon the staff. It was no longer the basic's fault that they wanted to leave or that they couldn't pass inspections, it was the cadre's fault for not providing enough tools or being supportive enough. Even if a basic really wants to leave during basic training it takes days and days for their paperwork to process; and while that is happening everyone in their chain of command tries to give them a pep talk to stay and wait it out.

About a year ago a petition was sent out which basically called for kicking cadets out who were on probation for two semesters in a row and couldn't get off. This petition had overwhelming support across the wing but it was never taken seriously by the higher ups.

Everyone knows who they don't want to see graduate from this place. By letting scum escape with a diploma it degrades the status of everyone else in the long blue line. That's why I feel it should be easier to kick cadets out. I also have one other idea: at the end of every year each cadet should vote to kick out one member of their squadron. Kind of like an Academy version of Survivor, this would make everyone try their hardest as well as eliminate cadets no one wants to see lead people in the real Air Force.

Spirit Missions

One of the most important things cadets can do at the Academy is to leave a legendary spirit mission. There isn't a perfect prescription of what the best spirit mission is, which leaves cadets to their creative instincts. When old grads come back to talk with us, they always rant and rave about how their class did this amazing spirit mission that people still talk about to this day. These stories are usually greeted with awe and excitement, and cadets want to leave their mark on this place so they can tell their grandchildren these stories.

Two essential parts of every spirit mission are danger and surprise. Cadets do the spirit mission well aware of the risks involved and are ready to prepare the consequences. The historical spirit missions have at least one cadet almost get kicked out of USAFA. Think about what happened in the class of 2004. A few cadets went up on Eagle's peak and painted a giant "04" with spray paint. Furious, the Academy leadership along with forest rangers hastily tried to get rid of the eyesore. They sandblasted the spray paint off, but at the same time they sandblasted a giant "04" into the mountain which will remain for the duration of the Academy. The end of the story always goes that the responsible cadets almost got booted or late grad. These stories have a tendency of scaring cadets away from attempting spirit missions of their own; especially because spirit missions have to be carried out with the leadership of firsties and the brute manual labor of doolies.

The second aspect of a good spirit mission, surprise, is something that the upper leadership is attempting to get rid of. Officially, the current policy stands for every new spirit mission to be approved all the way up to the level of the commandant. Each link in the chain approves the spirit mission with the mindset of WWCD (What Would the Commandant Do?) for fear of if they submit crap up the chain they'll see that crap rolling back downhill before long. Think about how surprised everyone must have been when the planetarium was turned into a giant 8-ball, or when the static display planes were over the chapel wall.

Speaking of static display planes, I was in Morocco last semester but I hear there was an incident with a particular F-35. I've only heard third hand accounts of the situation, but from what I can put together there was first a direct order given out to not move the aircraft (which is cadet code for move the aircraft). After someone did move the F-35, cadet leadership issued a moratorium on all spirit missions. They were officially banned until cadets could show improvement (which is cadet code for never). Some cadets had good intentions to speak out against the situation but did it in an inappropriate fashion and therefore got punished. The main sentiment they felt was that they did not want to see another age-old Academy tradition get washed down the drain.

To show how lame spirit missions have gotten nowadays, check out this picture from last year's Recognition where a spirit sheet on the staff tower was the only thing that got through:

Parking

Parking at USAFA is always a hot-button issue. For some reason, you are not allowed to bring your car to school until you are in your third year. Once that happens, the reward is only bittersweet. Yes, a vehicle is made available, but for some cadets in dorms far away from the parking lot, getting off base can be quite the trek. The walk down to their car can be up to a mile, after that, it's another 8 miles to the gate, and then another 8 miles to downtown Colorado Springs. Especially in the winter the weather keeps cadets indoors which contrtibutes to antisocial tendencies, but that's for another blog entry.

There are better parking options, though. If you achieve a high position in the Cadet Wing, you are given a premium spot right underneath the dorms. For this reason alone I was heavily considering applying for a high position, but in the end I opted against it. Close to the Sijan dormitory, there is another parking lot which houses Mitchell Hall workers, J & J Maintenance people, and a handful of selected cadets.

Ever since I can remember I've always wondered why they don't just build another parking lot (we do have the largest campus in the nation at 18,000 acres) or some sort of parking garage. Answers have ranged from budget issues, to it makes you tougher to walk a mile to your car (uphill both ways), but the reason with the most credibility has been that there is an endangered field mouse living around the Academy grounds. This special mouse, Preble's mouse, is specific to the front range and can jump up to three feet in the air. The mouse has been on the threatened species list since 1998, and has prevented substantial infrastructure projects in Colorado and Wyoming.

Even my Civil Engineering teacher 3-dig year convinced me that the only reason it is such a hassle to get to the parking lot was because of this mouse. This may just be the cadet rumor mill, but I've also heard that USAA has repeatedly offered USAFA funding to build a parking garage for cadet vehicles because it would save them money from all of the hail damage they have to pay for.

It is now off of the threatened species list in Wyoming, and on January 27th Colorado officials will be meeting to discuss whether or not to remove Preble's mouse from the threatened species list. What will this mean for the Academy? Will a new parking garage be made close to the cadet dorms?! Only time will tell, but my money's on that even if there are plentiful amounts of mice there will be a new excuse why there won't be anything built.

Access Denied

Besides the fact that it is usually quicker to actually walk to the Google headquarters in California and hunt through old file cabinets to find what you would like to search for rather than using the search engine from your room, internet access here at the Air Force Academy has always had more restrictions than anywhere else in the country. The big push a year ago was to switch over to the new .edu network. Before, the Academy was on the same .mil network that everyone else in the real Air Force was on. This internet was heavily restricted, mainly to keep Airmen doing something productive instead of looking at porn and playing video games at work.

Saving bandwidth for doing actual work is definitely a good idea in the operational Air Force, but what happens when you live in the same place where you do your work? As cadets, the only available internet in the room was this super-sterilized .mil internet. Then one day, following the example of the Coast Guard Academy, USAFA switched over to a .edu network. Sitting in the upper level of the library for two hours to get my computer revamped, I happened to ask the question of what the change was going to mean to us cadets on an everyday basis. The response was that the new .edu network would lessen the restrictions on the internet and we could surf the web happily ever after. What that actually translated into is that now we have YouTube.

Since I was a Doolie, I've been making notes of blocked websites and the reasons about why they were blocked. Oh yes, not only does USAFA deny access to certain sites, but some person takes time out of their day to type up the reasoning of why they decided to block them. After I'm blocked off of something ridiculous, I usually tell someone that matters and every once and a while it becomes unblocked. (That's my disclaimer for those of you cadets who try the sites I mention here that turn out not to be blocked anymore.) For those of you that still don't believe me I'd be happy to send you the print screen of the site and the reason. Without further ado, I'd like to present:

Squadron Angry Ranter's Top 16 Blocked Sites

16. Site: sales.geico.com/quote.do
Reason: Certificate error
You will not save money on your car insurance!

15. Site: spaceandmotion.com/metaphysics-immanuel-kant.htm
Reason: Education/Reference;Nudity;Sexual Materials
Up until this time I was unaware that Immanuel Kant was only photographed completely nude.

14. Site: images.search.yahoo.com
Reason: Open Image/Media Servers
I did a search for "Middle East map" and this is what I was greeted with. But it makes sense because there is obviously no reason I would ever need a map of the Middle East for any of my classes . . . ever.

13. Site: bankofamerica.com
Reason: Phishing;Financial Services
This was especially convenient when Bank of America was my primary bank where all my money was.

12. Site: newblackpanther.com
Reason: Political/Activist Groups
As a Political Science major, I sometimes have to deal with "politics" or groups involved with politics. Not under USAFA's watch!

11. Site: nextdayid.com
Reason: Illegal/Questionable
I was trying to get an International Student Identification Card for discounts when I was going to travel to Europe, but to the powers that be it looked "questionable."

10. Site: microsoft.com/windows/ie/downloads/default.mspx
Reason: Business;Computing/Internet
Trying to update my Internet Explorer, I was denied access because of such shady practices of "business" and the "internet." Oh no!

09. Site: edodo.org AND theonion.com
Reason: Adult/Mature Content;Humor/Jokes
Another classic, because we are not adults, cannot handle mature content, and have no business engaging in humor.

8. Site: fastmp3player.com
Reason: Suspicious
I thought nothing could top "questionable" until this.

7. Site: cyprusweekly.com/cy/
Reason: News/Media
Sites that give you news and/or media should be banned. What?

6. Site: economist.com
Reason: Business/Economy
You know they're probably right, The Economist newspaper has a horrible reputation and we should focus on ironing and not the "economy."

5. Site: mail.yahoo.com
Reason: Email
Back to snail mail cadets!

4. Site: gunthernet.com
Reason: Adult/Mature Content;Arts/Entertainment
This is personally insulting because Gunther and the Sunshine Girls is my favorite band of all time. So we've now gotten rid of "humor," "jokes," "arts" and "entertainment." What a life.

3. Site: myspace.com
Reason: Dating/Social
Classic site that's still denied today. Thank you upper leadership for preventing me from having any sort of dating or social life!

2. Site: britishairways.com
Reason: Travel
I'm speechless, really.

1. Site: ucl.ac.uk/dpu-projects/Global_Report/pdfs/Ibadan_bw.pdf
Reason: Education
I don’t even know what to tell you. I can’t make this stuff up.

When There's Nothing Better To Do . . .

The Air Force Academy is now starting to recover from a long string of bad scandals. A few years back, cadets were automatically associated as rapists who are out to get the general public. This prompted a massive shift in Department of Defense policy for the better that addressed the issue head on and put USAFA at the forefront of tackling sexual assault at the university level. The policy made sure not only to educate cadets about the horrors of sexual assault, but also to facilitate an atmosphere which made it more comfortable for victims to come forward and confidentially report their cases. I bring this up because of the truly outstanding work Academy leadership did in order to combat the problem.

A similar story can be told about alcohol incidents. As everything from DUIs to underage drinking started becoming a real problem at the Academy, the leadership proposed harsher punishments and rehabilitation plans that have proven to be effective to severely reduce the number of incidents today.

But with serious issues like sexual assault and alcohol starting to be under control, what does this leave the current generation of Academy leadership left to take on? Nothing, really. But every permanent party staffer only has three to four years at the Academy to make a difference and gain more bullets for their performance reports, so what happens? They take a previously ignored issue and try to put it back in the spotlight. They create more unneeded policies, write more rules for the sight picture, and attempt to sell their ideas to other members of the permanent party staff to get credit for making major changes at USAFA. It can be anything from "cracking down on spirit missions" to "enforcing uniform standards" to "making sure cadets are doing their hospital corners right on their beds." The logic associated with such petty things can usually be justified by bringing up that cadets aren't generally performing as they should be, and that the entire Wing has been slipping in standards lately. The obvious solution to fixing these problems is to clamp down on the rules temporarily in the hopes that one day those rules will not be necessary.

My favorite example by far of this phenomenon is the doors open policy. If we look at how it got started in the first place, it goes back about two years ago when a certain Group AOC went around on Saturday and was apalled by the way cadets kept their rooms. Did I mention it was a Saturday? Anyway, this certain individual led a crusade to first implement on the group level a doors open policy every morning to make sure cadets are cleaning their rooms. The principle it worked on was that if your fellow cadets walk by your room and it is a disaster, the humiliation suffered by that would force you to keep tidy quarters. While this argument never gained much support amongst cadets, when a different spin was put on it it appeared to get more traction. The new argument said that having doors open fosters an environment where cadets are more likely to meet each other and interact with one another, which therefore brings the squadron closer and things are accomplished better. If on my way back from class I see a lonely squadronmate sitting there by their lonesome I am more likely to come in and strike up a conversation with them. Makes sense? Maybe, but the catch was when all of the final details were being worked out of the policy it was usually a topic to discuss during a cadet Squadron Commander interview. Since there is a small level of military justification associated with this policy, any cadet who showed opposition to it was sure not to be put into a high level job because they "really didn't understand what makes good officers."

I can't say I necessarily blame the permanent party for trying to leave whatever mark they can on USAFA; they've got their careers to worry about and families back home. But it seems more often than not they care more about making it look like they're doing something at work rather than what would be best for cadets.

Throwing the Dog a Bone

One of the most prominent tactics the leadership uses here at the Academy is to throw the dog a bone. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it refers to how trainers deal with fighting dogs. Throughout their lives, trainers work the dogs until they can barely move, let alone be in perfect fighting shape. They will tie dogs up to treadmills for hours on end, put them on the brink of starvation, and beat them periodically. Then every once and a while, they may throw the dog a bare bone with no meat on it for them to chew on. To the dog, this "kind" and "generous" act by their captor is met with happiness, thankfulness, and praise for their master. But in all reality, this "treat" really isn't anything special at all, probably just some leftover table scrap that the trainer was going to throw away anyway. For at least a little more time, the dog doesn't rise up against his master and bite him in the neck. This is exactly how the Academy treats cadets.

Let's take mandatory breakfast as an example. A few years ago there wasn't mandatory breakfast. Then one day, in an effort to put the "M" back in military academy, someone thought it would be a good idea to force cadets to wake up at some unholy hour every morning to eat watery eggs. By doing this, the leadership now had more opportunities to punish cadets. They could get cadets for showing up late, being in the wrong uniform, and not standing at attention. The real genius of the act was establishing a new standard for cadet life. By implementing this new policy (which is generally looked at negatively), it gave the leadership a tool to reward cadets. Every once in a while we are "rewarded" with an optional breakfast day. And what is the sentiment associated with this optional day? Is it anger that we've been going to mandatory breakfast every other day, a major change in the status quo that wasn't around a few years ago? Is it apathy because this is how cadet life should always be? No! It is happiness, thankfulness, and we praise the leadership for being so kind and generous towards us, and even going so far as to say that they finally understand us.

Welcome

Welcome to my new blog! It is going to focus on issues at the United States Air Force Academy. My official job this semester is Squadron Angry Ranter, a new post invented by yours truly. The main goal of this blog is to make cadets more self-aware about their position in the Cadet Wing, as well as inspire them to be better Air Force officers. Enjoy!