Buzzword Bingo

In our leadership laboratory, we have the honor of listening to countless speakers who know infinitely more than we do. Once in a while we will hear something worthwhile, but the vast majority of speeches are filled with cliches and meaningless buzzwords. The Academy is so in love with these type of speeches they organize entire events (NCLS) and spent vast amounts of money to bring in speakers from all over the world. Once a week we even get an hour long buzzword overload session called Cadet Professional Military Education.

For the short amount of time cadets aren't sleeping during these briefings, they like to play a game called "Buzzword Bingo". The game is fun and easy to play; so for everyone watching at home grab a pen and let's get started! All you have to do is take a standard five by five bingo board and fill it in with your favorite buzzwords. Some of my favorites include "character", "virtue", "synergy", "dedication", "sacrifice" and don't forget the big three: "integrity", "service" and "excellence". Now listen to the speaker and mark the words off on your board when you hear them. If you get five in a row, jump up and yell "Bingo"! You win!

Top Off

Privileges come slowly at USAFA. The theory is that if you take away everything from cadets and give things back to them over a long period of time, they will appreciate the little things more and be forever grateful. Even after four years at this institution, I have less privileges than I did six weeks out of enlisted basic training in the "real" Air Force. As I look back at some of the privileges I earned, I recall such things as being allowed to sit down in my own room, wearing my bathrobe with the Prop and Wings emblem showing and having a plant in my room. The final stage of the Academy privilege package is "Top Off".

This event happens at some point approximately a month before graduation and includes such wonders as not having to be in bed at 10:45 pm every night and optional breakfast. The only real reason that Top Off exists though is to not have Firsties completely check out before they graduate. The exact date of this event is arbitrary and that is also its genius. The upper leadership hints that Top Off will come quicker depending on the performance of the Cadet Wing. By doing this the "cadet-run" Wing continues to try and please permanent party and pass off responsibilities to the two digs while maintaining professionalism and punctuality. No matter how much success firsties have, vaguely defined "general discrepancies" prevent Top Off from happening until just a few days before graduation.

IHTFP

IHTFP is an acronym with two meanings at USAFA. On the one hand, it means "I'm Here To Fly Planes". As half of the cadet wing graduates to become pilots, this is a very fitting saying. It serves as a constant reminder that after four long years the cadets who have worked hard will be given the chance to play hard in a multi-million dollar fighter jet. The Academy does a pretty good job pounding the fact that you are an officer first and a pilot second into cadets' skulls on a daily basis, but unofficially cadets who are destined to be pilots keep this little motto to serve as a pick-me-up in the back of their minds.

The second meaning is a bit more sinister. It stands for "I Hate This F%#&ing Place". It serves as a constant reminder that this institution has sucked away four long years of our lives. Cadets love to remind each other how horrible this place is and will frequently get in contests about who is more cynical (See "Hating Mitch's" post).

So the next time you see this unique acronym on a morale patch or carved into a bathroom stall you can now fully appreciate its meaning and will hopefully lean towards the first meaning.

Hating Mitch's

Here at the United States Air Force Academy all cadets pay for three meals a day from the cadet dining facility: Mitchell Hall. At every mandatory meal the staff is able to serve 4,400 cadets in less than five minutes. Now it isn't always the best food in the world, but I think the food we get is pretty darn good for government work. I have my problems with the services Mitch's provides, but that is a rant for another day. As far as cadet activities go, hating Mitch's is definitely one of the most popular. It seems to me that whenever this subject comes up all cadets in the local area have to give their input on how horrible Mitch's is and how torturous it is to eat their food. We all have our favorite quotes from disgruntled cadets I'm sure; I overheard this gem while sitting down for dinner 3 dig year "the only thing Mitch's makes right is the water, and half the time they mess that up". The cadet who said this was 100% serious and all of his other buddies at the table totally agreed with him.

I'm always shocked to hear about cadets who leave immediately after "wing dismissed" and go back to their room to eat Ramen. Then there are cadets who get dinner delivered to the ECP every night because eating Mitch's would be unbearable. Their paycheck may quickly burn away, but at least their stomach will live to see another day. Even when Mitch's brings in outside food from KFC or Papa John's, the fact that Mitch's came in contact with it automatically transforms it into slop unworthy for the pig trough.