Sod

Two times every year the Academy grounds get a complete face lift. This happens right before Parent's Weekend and graduation. Colorado is a horrible climate for growing anything but rocks, but USAFA will not accept this. They use vast amounts of water, energy, and money trying to defy Mother Nature. The liberal dosage of sod is the best example of this phenomenon. They bring in hundreds of pallets of sod in order to make it look like grass can actually grow at USAFA. To a logical person, using taxpayer money to re-plant the Academy twice a year does not make very much sense. At some point you would cut your losses and deal with rocks, AstroTurf, or dirt.

This is the perfect example of how the Academy tends to focus on pleasing visitors rather than pleasing cadets. The upper leadership really doesn't care how cadets view the institution or function in it, but they do care how visitors look at it. You would also imagine that the greatness of the institution would speak for itself; and no one really cares if the grassy area right outside the east part of Sijan Hall has fresh sod. For the visitors out there, we hope that your judgement only goes surface deep and you can be easily pleased with grass. Just make sure to only visit around Parent's Weekend or graduation, though.

Upper Leadership Will Not Fill The Fountains Because Of Safety Reasons

There is a tradition here at the Academy that Firsties have done for generations. There are two glorious fountains on the Terrazzo that get filled up when the weather gets nice. Since the weather shifts between winter and summer daily, they make this date toward the end of spring semester. Every year these two fountains get filled so Firsties can continue their annual tradition. After your last class/final you jump into the fountains in full uniform and celebrate the end of school. Some prefer to belly flop and some prefer the cannonball, and some even bring an inflatable alligator with them.

I've been joking around for the last few weeks with some of my classmates by spreading the dirty rumor that the upper leadership has decided this tradition is dangerous and disrespectful, and therefore the fountains will not get filled up this year. I thought about making this post as a joke, sort of "The Onion" (recently unblocked) style making fun of something that is completely untrue. As of early Thursday morning, it looks like this false prophecy will actually be reality. There is a small chance that it could get filled up in the next 12 hours for Firsties who don't have any finals, but I highly doubt it.

Alas, classmates, another time-honored tradition has come to a close. On the bright side, though, there is a small puddle from the rain last weekend you can roll around in if you so desire . . .

Uniform as a Punishment

I've heard that often times Academy graduates are the sloppiest looking LTs on the block. They never iron their uniforms, shine their shoes, or shave. In my mind this argument has some credibility because the institution uses uniforms as a punishment. They make a feeble attempt to instill pride in the uniform by forcing us to memorize quotes, not put uniforms on the ground, and perform regular inspections. Unlike our ROTC counterparts, we have to wear the uniform every day for the entire Academy experience. It is never solely Air Force dress-up Thursday, but rather a constant barrage of uniform wear. Up until Recognition Doolies are required to wear the uniform 24 hours a day. It becomes a privilege to take off the uniform, but in reality it should be a privilege to put the uniform on. A common training technique for Doolies are making them do Superman drills. This is when they have to change uniforms about five times in a row in a certain amount of time; which is an event they dread. We force them to funnel through all different types of uniforms and them grade them harshly.

USAFA also has no problem using uniforms as a punishment. Commanders will tack on constant uniform wear as part of probationary restrictions. If you have to serve confinements, you have to wear one of the most formal uniform combinations. By the time graduation comes around, most cadets view the uniform in a negative light and don't put in the extra effort to make it look nice.

Confinements

Punishment is a tricky thing to dish out here at the Air Force Academy. During my freshmen year the system was undefined and punishment mainly consisted of paperwork. With new leadership comes new ideas, and one of the recent ones is sitting "confinements". One confinement consists of coming into a biology room in service dress and being "productive" for one hour and fifty minutes. No music, video games, sleeping, standing, talking, tobacco, eating, or anything that could be deemed "fun". Two unfortunate cadets are tasked to monitor the scum of the earth and make sure no funny business goes down. I have sympathy for these cadets, similar to how I feel about intramural referees. Every once in a while the officer of the day will stop in and ream the monitors for allowing the dirtbags to wear headphones and eat, and the monitors will then be forced to care and tell everyone to lock it up.

So for your average discrepency (parking ticket, missing a briefing, showing up late to class, driving your roommate to the hospital in the middle of the night for an emergency, going to someone else's room to finish up a group project after Taps, being outside the gate after Top Off is revoked and not wanting to drive back drunk, etc.) punishment usually starts at 20 hours of confinements, and can go all the way up to 200 hours. In this leadership laboratory where logic is supposed to be king, for some reason the best thing we could come up with to teach cadets a lesson and turn them into officers of character is dressing them up and making them sit quietly. But does the institution limit this experience to only USAFA cadets? No! If you decide to visit us from another Academy we have no problem dishing you out some cold hard justice: Air Force style!

Even though it is taboo to talk about why you got sent to the slammer, I will risk my life by telling you I was late to formation. The punishment? Unknown so far . . . the incident happened five weeks ago but the paperwork has been so slow going through the system I am sitting confinements now so that when my punishment actually does come down it won't be as harsh. So as I sit here repaying my debt to society, I'm sad to report that I am not being filled with pure respect and awe for this institution, but rather a bitter taste in my mouth only a few days before graduation.

Buzzword Bingo

In our leadership laboratory, we have the honor of listening to countless speakers who know infinitely more than we do. Once in a while we will hear something worthwhile, but the vast majority of speeches are filled with cliches and meaningless buzzwords. The Academy is so in love with these type of speeches they organize entire events (NCLS) and spent vast amounts of money to bring in speakers from all over the world. Once a week we even get an hour long buzzword overload session called Cadet Professional Military Education.

For the short amount of time cadets aren't sleeping during these briefings, they like to play a game called "Buzzword Bingo". The game is fun and easy to play; so for everyone watching at home grab a pen and let's get started! All you have to do is take a standard five by five bingo board and fill it in with your favorite buzzwords. Some of my favorites include "character", "virtue", "synergy", "dedication", "sacrifice" and don't forget the big three: "integrity", "service" and "excellence". Now listen to the speaker and mark the words off on your board when you hear them. If you get five in a row, jump up and yell "Bingo"! You win!

Top Off

Privileges come slowly at USAFA. The theory is that if you take away everything from cadets and give things back to them over a long period of time, they will appreciate the little things more and be forever grateful. Even after four years at this institution, I have less privileges than I did six weeks out of enlisted basic training in the "real" Air Force. As I look back at some of the privileges I earned, I recall such things as being allowed to sit down in my own room, wearing my bathrobe with the Prop and Wings emblem showing and having a plant in my room. The final stage of the Academy privilege package is "Top Off".

This event happens at some point approximately a month before graduation and includes such wonders as not having to be in bed at 10:45 pm every night and optional breakfast. The only real reason that Top Off exists though is to not have Firsties completely check out before they graduate. The exact date of this event is arbitrary and that is also its genius. The upper leadership hints that Top Off will come quicker depending on the performance of the Cadet Wing. By doing this the "cadet-run" Wing continues to try and please permanent party and pass off responsibilities to the two digs while maintaining professionalism and punctuality. No matter how much success firsties have, vaguely defined "general discrepancies" prevent Top Off from happening until just a few days before graduation.

IHTFP

IHTFP is an acronym with two meanings at USAFA. On the one hand, it means "I'm Here To Fly Planes". As half of the cadet wing graduates to become pilots, this is a very fitting saying. It serves as a constant reminder that after four long years the cadets who have worked hard will be given the chance to play hard in a multi-million dollar fighter jet. The Academy does a pretty good job pounding the fact that you are an officer first and a pilot second into cadets' skulls on a daily basis, but unofficially cadets who are destined to be pilots keep this little motto to serve as a pick-me-up in the back of their minds.

The second meaning is a bit more sinister. It stands for "I Hate This F%#&ing Place". It serves as a constant reminder that this institution has sucked away four long years of our lives. Cadets love to remind each other how horrible this place is and will frequently get in contests about who is more cynical (See "Hating Mitch's" post).

So the next time you see this unique acronym on a morale patch or carved into a bathroom stall you can now fully appreciate its meaning and will hopefully lean towards the first meaning.

Hating Mitch's

Here at the United States Air Force Academy all cadets pay for three meals a day from the cadet dining facility: Mitchell Hall. At every mandatory meal the staff is able to serve 4,400 cadets in less than five minutes. Now it isn't always the best food in the world, but I think the food we get is pretty darn good for government work. I have my problems with the services Mitch's provides, but that is a rant for another day. As far as cadet activities go, hating Mitch's is definitely one of the most popular. It seems to me that whenever this subject comes up all cadets in the local area have to give their input on how horrible Mitch's is and how torturous it is to eat their food. We all have our favorite quotes from disgruntled cadets I'm sure; I overheard this gem while sitting down for dinner 3 dig year "the only thing Mitch's makes right is the water, and half the time they mess that up". The cadet who said this was 100% serious and all of his other buddies at the table totally agreed with him.

I'm always shocked to hear about cadets who leave immediately after "wing dismissed" and go back to their room to eat Ramen. Then there are cadets who get dinner delivered to the ECP every night because eating Mitch's would be unbearable. Their paycheck may quickly burn away, but at least their stomach will live to see another day. Even when Mitch's brings in outside food from KFC or Papa John's, the fact that Mitch's came in contact with it automatically transforms it into slop unworthy for the pig trough.

Framing the Recognition Debate

The topic of Recognition is very controversial at the Air Force Academy for many reasons. The main debates are whether it is hazing vs. training, current restrictions on Recognition vs. how it used to be, how everyone gets Recognized (youth soccer attitude) vs. having some cadets pass and some fail, training in the squadron vs. at wing level, and the biggest of all which is whether it is even beneficial to have the event in the first place.

Basic Cadet Training does a fantastic job transforming immature unprepared civilians (and prior Airmen) into cadets ready to tackle the rigors of the Academy. Sure some slip through the cracks, but for the most part it instills discipline, integrity, and leadership into all who pass through it. For the enlisted force, OTS, and for the most part ROTC, this relatively short intense training period is enough to establish the core values of the military lifestyle. But for USAFA; it is only the beginning. We have to continue for an entire year in a restrictive environment because "it makes us better officers". Yes Recognition gives graduates of USAFA a tradition to hang on to, and is difficult to accomplish, but in the end does it really put us at a level far far above that of our peers which go through other commissioning sources?

I would argue we have to convince ourselves that it does, no matter what we actually think about the event. We have to buy into the fact that Recognition is a positive thing because it goes to the heart of why we have the Academy. Four years of suck is supposed to create superior officers than four weeks of suck. We say it gives us teamwork, togetherness, toughness, and heritage, but does it also transform us into the best officers in the Air Force?

Intramurals

According to cadet rumors, USAFA is the most athletic school in the country because all cadets participate in sports. We are a Division 1 school, and many cadets are able to successfully balance sports with school and their military duties. The long application process, the title of "best and brightest", and the distinguished guests who grace our institution with their presence can affect some egoes here. In a conservative estimate, I would say that 98% of cadets have some traces of having a "Type-A" personality. Thus, there are problems that arise on the intramural fields of friendly strife. Every day USAFA experiences fights of words and fists between our own over a game that is just supposed to get you out of the World of Warcraft for an hour.

I was a basketball referee as a 2-dig. I dreaded going down to the court because I would literally receive death threats from my fellow cadets on a daily basis. These people do not want to be referees, they don't care about the sport at all, and you are the only thing keeping them from enjoying the rest of their afternoon. Give them a break already!

Unprofessionalism

The two everyday occurrences which are emphasized as unprofessional around USAFA are having your hands in your pockets and using a cell phone in uniform. I never really understood why this was but I'd like to imagine the logic behind these two devious acts goes something like this:

First, if you have your hands in your pockets you are obviously unprofessional. The military is a profession, and people that stick their hands in their pockets should not be part of the military. If you were in a battle and you put your hands in your pockets they would get shot. If your hands are cold, too bad! It's not our problem, wear some gloves or something. Didn't bring gloves and the weather just turned from 60 and sunny to 30 and snowing? You think I really care?! Get frostbite, maybe it'll make you tougher.

Second, okay fine we'll let you clip your cell phone on your belt, but our niceness stops there. The first think we think of when we see someone in a uniform on their cell phone is: how dare they. They're probably on the Psychic Friends Network like an idiot wasting taxpayer dollars. Nothing productive comes out of servicemen using their cell phones . . . ever. We will soon implement a rule to allow people to spit on servicemen using their cell phones in uniform. You've been warned.

The Cosmic Battle Between First Group and Fourth Group

In the USAFA universe, there is a constant battle raging. Two incredibly powerful forces are in cosmic competition for the hearts and minds of the Cadet Wing. Each one is made up of one quarter of the cadets at the Academy. They are First Group and Fourth Group.

First Group - motto: First Group First. Only two different words describe the group which always strives to be the best. Year after year, in overall standings, First Group takes pride at wiping up the competition and being named group of the year. They are known for their strict standards, stractness, excellence, uptightness, and in their eyes, complete dominance of the Wing. Work hard and don't play.

Fourth Group - motto: Go Fourth and Conquer. On the opposite end of the Terrazzo lies Fourth Group. Year after year, they continue to be ranked at the bottom of the barrel. They are known for their relaxed atmosphere, funness, laziness, and lack of urgency. Don't work and play hard.

The other guys - They are kind of like the little brothers of the Wing. They are always torn between their older siblings, and don't really know where they belong. They will always switch it up in the standings, and certain incidents will point them one way or another. If we recall what happened in the freshmen-junior beerfest double date incident, it gave that group an edge toward Fourth Group. At the same time, when the story first broke and it was being explained to my lunch table, one quarter of the people I was sitting with were on alcohol probation. Go Fourth and Conquer!

Everyone is essentially a product of their surroundings. First Groupers have to embrace the stractness to survive, and Fourth Groupers have to put up with a certain level of mediocrity to not go crazy. There are of course exceptions across the board, a perfect example is how Fourth Group is the only group in the Wing to be doing a Saturday AM Inspection this weekend. Which reminds me, if anyone happens to really know their way around a military drawer and is sticking around Friday night instead of going out, give me a call. Different leadership techniques and attitudes. Who makes better officers? That's for you to decide!

The Rape Stairs

There is a certain set of stairs between the upper and lower firstie parking lots which has earned itself a unique nickname. They are the rape stairs. I'm sure it really does not mean anything and the stairs just follow the natural slope of the hill, but these stairs show the awesome power of cadet rumors. I don't know where the rumor started, when the stairs were built, or any real science behind it; but I do know the logic behind the nickname.

Supposedly the stairs are at such an angle that they enable victims of sexual assault to magically go up them much faster than their assailants. The story usually goes that because how spaced out the stairs are and what angle they're at, girls have a natural ability to fly up them while men awkwardly struggle to conquer them. The area they are in gets to be dark and lonely at night, and the bottom of the stairs is exactly the right spot where male cadets wait to get their prey. But wait! Not this time creep-o! As soon as you try and follow that female she will be long gone at the top of the stairs and you won't be able to catch up.

I bring this up to start illustrating a point on how powerful rumors are around the Academy. This one in particular is interesting because of how ridiculous it is, how widespread it is, and how long it has been in circulation.

The Magic of the Clipboard

Today is our class' 100's night celebration. We celebrate 100 days until graduation with a big dinner where we also find out our first base assignment. Our class color is silver. In order to show class pride, I wore a silver blanket around all day kind of like a cape along with my class colored baseball hat. I got a lot of confused looks, especially from teachers who weren't familiar with our official class color, but what really struck me was the fact that nobody told me to take off my cape or hat throughout the day. This was an excellent example of what I call the "confidence principle."

As long as you look like you know what you're doing, nobody questions you. All you need to do is have self-confidence and remain composed and everyone around you assumes you have a good reason to be doing what you're doing. Around the Academy, there are two items which reinforce this principle: the walkie-talkie and the clipboard. If you walk around with a walkie-talkie, you are THE authority. Whatever you say goes and nobody can stop you. The same goes for the clipboard, as long as you look down at it with a dissatisfied look every once and a while you are obviously important.

This makes me want to conduct a social experiment. I'm considering showing up to school in a few weeks dressed in a chicken costume. I'm betting right now I would be able to get away with it.

Check it out

I would like to give mad props to Hub Feinstein Studios for creating this video. Quite possibly the best video ever about the Academy. Watch and enjoy!

Three Types of Firsties

In my opinion I categorize firsties into three different categories: checked-out, hands-off, and ahhhhh! The first type is the typical case of senioritis: only a few days left, I've done a lot of work so far, might as well have fun the last few days I'm here. These may be the most toxic of all, but they really don't pose an actual threat to the cadet wing. They may take a hit on an AMI once and a while because vaccuuming wasn't a top priority, but they generally keep to themselves and don't mess anyone else up.

The "hands-off" firsties are those who dread not graduating. They are constantly stressed, don't want to have fun, stay in their rooms a lot, and play by the rules. The stories about the firsties who got late grad days before graduation haunt "hands-off" firsties in their sleep, and they have a tendency to resemble an old paranoid hermit.

The "ahhhh!" firsties are those who just realized they only have a few days left to make an impact on the Academy. Today the count is 105 (but who's counting?!) days until graduation, and the "ahhhh!" firsties are just awakening that they can make a real difference being the elders of the wing. I would classify myself into this category. While many may get the impression that I'm just a pissed off firstie who is fighting the man for no reason, the exact opposite is true. I want to make this a better place than how I left it, and I recently figured out there is only a limited amount of time to do that. I truly love this institution and respect what it is trying to accomplish; even though I may not agree with all of the means it uses to get us there. The real goal of this blog is to start a dialogue between cadets so attitudes and policies can be changed instead of spreading infinite amounts of cynacism.

Anti-social

Often times when I tell someone I'm from the Air Force Academy the next question is, "Oh do you know so-and-so?" Most of the time, my response is, "no, never heard of them." There is a small possibility I know Cadet Smith from Squadron 38, but it is very unlikely I know Tammy from Long Island. Now I consider myself a fairly sociable person, I have a good number of friends and my personal hygiene is at least above average. So then why do I know so few people at a school of only 4,400 students?

One of the reasons is our small class sizes. While the quality of education is top notch, it also limits day to day social interaction between peers. There are even people in my own major in my graduating class that I probably don't even know.

The institution also does a fine job of keeping us isolated and anti-social. Some of the key rules which accomplish that mission are that freshmen can't hang out with upperclassmen, and as a freshman you have to stay in your squadron area. You are allowed extremely limited interaction with other freshmen who aren't in your squadron up until Recognition. You have seen that guy's face before in a mass briefing, but you definitely don't know him by name. Also, the institution does not provide any sort of public transportation for cadets. Besides going into all of the DUIs minor public transportation could deter, introducing cadets to the local community would be beneficial for the public as well as the cadet population.

Another thing is the lack of quality hangouts around campus. Sure there is the church-sponsored Oasis lounge with a coffee machine and big-screen TV, but for most cadets that is the only place in a 20 mile radius (see Parking rant) that you can sit down and chill out with friends. There's also a mentality that when cadets do go off campus the last people they want to hang out with is other cadets. And this is a very strange and perplexing sentiment I'm not able to fully grasp. The closest movie theater to campus is right out the South gate at Chapel Hills mall. The prices are the lowest in town, parking is easy to access, and the movie picture quality is always the best. But when cadets go out to the movies they prefer to go out to the movie theater on Powers Road way on the other side of town if they can spare the time. For some reason cadets don't like hanging out near other cadets because . . . they . . . well . . . there really isn't a concrete reason. Some may say cadets remind them of the open-air prison they go to school at, and some may claim that all cadets have annoying Type-A fighter pilot personalities, but the fact is there really isn't a reason we should automatically act hostile toward one another. If anything we should have each others' backs in the outside world. It's a strange sentiment but everybody feels it, automatic hatred when there is another group of short haired guys eating in Rong Cheng's.

Getting Kicked Out

At a typical university around our great nation, if for some reason you need to switch schools you usually say that you are going to "transfer." At the Air Force Academy, you cannot transfer but you can "quit." You can quit and accept all of the negative connotations associated with quitting. This usually consists of you admitting defeat, surrendering to the USAFA gods, possibly getting disowned from your family, and wearing a mark of shame the rest of your life.

It should also be noted that you cannot join the cadet ranks midway through your college career. Even if you have three years of college under your belt if you want to throw your hat in the air with the Thunderbirds flying overhead you have to start all over from the beginning.

Besides quitting, the other way out of the Academy is to get kicked out. While everybody knows "that guy" who gets through somehow, I would like to assert that it is near impossible to get kicked out nowadays. The only path that has beefed up its kicking cadets out policy is the honor division. If you get into honor trouble as an upperclassman, that is surely the quickest way out of our institution. The other fast way out is to get two alcohol incidents.

It is possible to be on academic or athletic probation for multiple semesters. Even if you get "hard ARC'd," a majority of cadets that have shown some sort of improvement (even if it is barely anything) get to graduate. Kicking someone out for military-related events is the hardest thing to do. Even if everyone knows a certain individual is a dirtbag, and they continue to have paperwork pile up on them, it literally takes an act of Congress to justify forcing someone to leave.

I attribute this to what I call the "BCT mentality." At some point down the line in Basic Cadet Training, the leadership changed their mind on how we should look at kicking basics out. One day, the thought process was to get rid of the vermin of the flight that would not be able to handle the rigors of the Academy lifestyle. This served as a filter for all of the worthless kids who only got in because their daddy knows somebody. At some point, though, it was made clear to BCT cadre that if a basic left it reflects poorly upon the staff. It was no longer the basic's fault that they wanted to leave or that they couldn't pass inspections, it was the cadre's fault for not providing enough tools or being supportive enough. Even if a basic really wants to leave during basic training it takes days and days for their paperwork to process; and while that is happening everyone in their chain of command tries to give them a pep talk to stay and wait it out.

About a year ago a petition was sent out which basically called for kicking cadets out who were on probation for two semesters in a row and couldn't get off. This petition had overwhelming support across the wing but it was never taken seriously by the higher ups.

Everyone knows who they don't want to see graduate from this place. By letting scum escape with a diploma it degrades the status of everyone else in the long blue line. That's why I feel it should be easier to kick cadets out. I also have one other idea: at the end of every year each cadet should vote to kick out one member of their squadron. Kind of like an Academy version of Survivor, this would make everyone try their hardest as well as eliminate cadets no one wants to see lead people in the real Air Force.

Spirit Missions

One of the most important things cadets can do at the Academy is to leave a legendary spirit mission. There isn't a perfect prescription of what the best spirit mission is, which leaves cadets to their creative instincts. When old grads come back to talk with us, they always rant and rave about how their class did this amazing spirit mission that people still talk about to this day. These stories are usually greeted with awe and excitement, and cadets want to leave their mark on this place so they can tell their grandchildren these stories.

Two essential parts of every spirit mission are danger and surprise. Cadets do the spirit mission well aware of the risks involved and are ready to prepare the consequences. The historical spirit missions have at least one cadet almost get kicked out of USAFA. Think about what happened in the class of 2004. A few cadets went up on Eagle's peak and painted a giant "04" with spray paint. Furious, the Academy leadership along with forest rangers hastily tried to get rid of the eyesore. They sandblasted the spray paint off, but at the same time they sandblasted a giant "04" into the mountain which will remain for the duration of the Academy. The end of the story always goes that the responsible cadets almost got booted or late grad. These stories have a tendency of scaring cadets away from attempting spirit missions of their own; especially because spirit missions have to be carried out with the leadership of firsties and the brute manual labor of doolies.

The second aspect of a good spirit mission, surprise, is something that the upper leadership is attempting to get rid of. Officially, the current policy stands for every new spirit mission to be approved all the way up to the level of the commandant. Each link in the chain approves the spirit mission with the mindset of WWCD (What Would the Commandant Do?) for fear of if they submit crap up the chain they'll see that crap rolling back downhill before long. Think about how surprised everyone must have been when the planetarium was turned into a giant 8-ball, or when the static display planes were over the chapel wall.

Speaking of static display planes, I was in Morocco last semester but I hear there was an incident with a particular F-35. I've only heard third hand accounts of the situation, but from what I can put together there was first a direct order given out to not move the aircraft (which is cadet code for move the aircraft). After someone did move the F-35, cadet leadership issued a moratorium on all spirit missions. They were officially banned until cadets could show improvement (which is cadet code for never). Some cadets had good intentions to speak out against the situation but did it in an inappropriate fashion and therefore got punished. The main sentiment they felt was that they did not want to see another age-old Academy tradition get washed down the drain.

To show how lame spirit missions have gotten nowadays, check out this picture from last year's Recognition where a spirit sheet on the staff tower was the only thing that got through:

Parking

Parking at USAFA is always a hot-button issue. For some reason, you are not allowed to bring your car to school until you are in your third year. Once that happens, the reward is only bittersweet. Yes, a vehicle is made available, but for some cadets in dorms far away from the parking lot, getting off base can be quite the trek. The walk down to their car can be up to a mile, after that, it's another 8 miles to the gate, and then another 8 miles to downtown Colorado Springs. Especially in the winter the weather keeps cadets indoors which contrtibutes to antisocial tendencies, but that's for another blog entry.

There are better parking options, though. If you achieve a high position in the Cadet Wing, you are given a premium spot right underneath the dorms. For this reason alone I was heavily considering applying for a high position, but in the end I opted against it. Close to the Sijan dormitory, there is another parking lot which houses Mitchell Hall workers, J & J Maintenance people, and a handful of selected cadets.

Ever since I can remember I've always wondered why they don't just build another parking lot (we do have the largest campus in the nation at 18,000 acres) or some sort of parking garage. Answers have ranged from budget issues, to it makes you tougher to walk a mile to your car (uphill both ways), but the reason with the most credibility has been that there is an endangered field mouse living around the Academy grounds. This special mouse, Preble's mouse, is specific to the front range and can jump up to three feet in the air. The mouse has been on the threatened species list since 1998, and has prevented substantial infrastructure projects in Colorado and Wyoming.

Even my Civil Engineering teacher 3-dig year convinced me that the only reason it is such a hassle to get to the parking lot was because of this mouse. This may just be the cadet rumor mill, but I've also heard that USAA has repeatedly offered USAFA funding to build a parking garage for cadet vehicles because it would save them money from all of the hail damage they have to pay for.

It is now off of the threatened species list in Wyoming, and on January 27th Colorado officials will be meeting to discuss whether or not to remove Preble's mouse from the threatened species list. What will this mean for the Academy? Will a new parking garage be made close to the cadet dorms?! Only time will tell, but my money's on that even if there are plentiful amounts of mice there will be a new excuse why there won't be anything built.

Access Denied

Besides the fact that it is usually quicker to actually walk to the Google headquarters in California and hunt through old file cabinets to find what you would like to search for rather than using the search engine from your room, internet access here at the Air Force Academy has always had more restrictions than anywhere else in the country. The big push a year ago was to switch over to the new .edu network. Before, the Academy was on the same .mil network that everyone else in the real Air Force was on. This internet was heavily restricted, mainly to keep Airmen doing something productive instead of looking at porn and playing video games at work.

Saving bandwidth for doing actual work is definitely a good idea in the operational Air Force, but what happens when you live in the same place where you do your work? As cadets, the only available internet in the room was this super-sterilized .mil internet. Then one day, following the example of the Coast Guard Academy, USAFA switched over to a .edu network. Sitting in the upper level of the library for two hours to get my computer revamped, I happened to ask the question of what the change was going to mean to us cadets on an everyday basis. The response was that the new .edu network would lessen the restrictions on the internet and we could surf the web happily ever after. What that actually translated into is that now we have YouTube.

Since I was a Doolie, I've been making notes of blocked websites and the reasons about why they were blocked. Oh yes, not only does USAFA deny access to certain sites, but some person takes time out of their day to type up the reasoning of why they decided to block them. After I'm blocked off of something ridiculous, I usually tell someone that matters and every once and a while it becomes unblocked. (That's my disclaimer for those of you cadets who try the sites I mention here that turn out not to be blocked anymore.) For those of you that still don't believe me I'd be happy to send you the print screen of the site and the reason. Without further ado, I'd like to present:

Squadron Angry Ranter's Top 16 Blocked Sites

16. Site: sales.geico.com/quote.do
Reason: Certificate error
You will not save money on your car insurance!

15. Site: spaceandmotion.com/metaphysics-immanuel-kant.htm
Reason: Education/Reference;Nudity;Sexual Materials
Up until this time I was unaware that Immanuel Kant was only photographed completely nude.

14. Site: images.search.yahoo.com
Reason: Open Image/Media Servers
I did a search for "Middle East map" and this is what I was greeted with. But it makes sense because there is obviously no reason I would ever need a map of the Middle East for any of my classes . . . ever.

13. Site: bankofamerica.com
Reason: Phishing;Financial Services
This was especially convenient when Bank of America was my primary bank where all my money was.

12. Site: newblackpanther.com
Reason: Political/Activist Groups
As a Political Science major, I sometimes have to deal with "politics" or groups involved with politics. Not under USAFA's watch!

11. Site: nextdayid.com
Reason: Illegal/Questionable
I was trying to get an International Student Identification Card for discounts when I was going to travel to Europe, but to the powers that be it looked "questionable."

10. Site: microsoft.com/windows/ie/downloads/default.mspx
Reason: Business;Computing/Internet
Trying to update my Internet Explorer, I was denied access because of such shady practices of "business" and the "internet." Oh no!

09. Site: edodo.org AND theonion.com
Reason: Adult/Mature Content;Humor/Jokes
Another classic, because we are not adults, cannot handle mature content, and have no business engaging in humor.

8. Site: fastmp3player.com
Reason: Suspicious
I thought nothing could top "questionable" until this.

7. Site: cyprusweekly.com/cy/
Reason: News/Media
Sites that give you news and/or media should be banned. What?

6. Site: economist.com
Reason: Business/Economy
You know they're probably right, The Economist newspaper has a horrible reputation and we should focus on ironing and not the "economy."

5. Site: mail.yahoo.com
Reason: Email
Back to snail mail cadets!

4. Site: gunthernet.com
Reason: Adult/Mature Content;Arts/Entertainment
This is personally insulting because Gunther and the Sunshine Girls is my favorite band of all time. So we've now gotten rid of "humor," "jokes," "arts" and "entertainment." What a life.

3. Site: myspace.com
Reason: Dating/Social
Classic site that's still denied today. Thank you upper leadership for preventing me from having any sort of dating or social life!

2. Site: britishairways.com
Reason: Travel
I'm speechless, really.

1. Site: ucl.ac.uk/dpu-projects/Global_Report/pdfs/Ibadan_bw.pdf
Reason: Education
I don’t even know what to tell you. I can’t make this stuff up.

When There's Nothing Better To Do . . .

The Air Force Academy is now starting to recover from a long string of bad scandals. A few years back, cadets were automatically associated as rapists who are out to get the general public. This prompted a massive shift in Department of Defense policy for the better that addressed the issue head on and put USAFA at the forefront of tackling sexual assault at the university level. The policy made sure not only to educate cadets about the horrors of sexual assault, but also to facilitate an atmosphere which made it more comfortable for victims to come forward and confidentially report their cases. I bring this up because of the truly outstanding work Academy leadership did in order to combat the problem.

A similar story can be told about alcohol incidents. As everything from DUIs to underage drinking started becoming a real problem at the Academy, the leadership proposed harsher punishments and rehabilitation plans that have proven to be effective to severely reduce the number of incidents today.

But with serious issues like sexual assault and alcohol starting to be under control, what does this leave the current generation of Academy leadership left to take on? Nothing, really. But every permanent party staffer only has three to four years at the Academy to make a difference and gain more bullets for their performance reports, so what happens? They take a previously ignored issue and try to put it back in the spotlight. They create more unneeded policies, write more rules for the sight picture, and attempt to sell their ideas to other members of the permanent party staff to get credit for making major changes at USAFA. It can be anything from "cracking down on spirit missions" to "enforcing uniform standards" to "making sure cadets are doing their hospital corners right on their beds." The logic associated with such petty things can usually be justified by bringing up that cadets aren't generally performing as they should be, and that the entire Wing has been slipping in standards lately. The obvious solution to fixing these problems is to clamp down on the rules temporarily in the hopes that one day those rules will not be necessary.

My favorite example by far of this phenomenon is the doors open policy. If we look at how it got started in the first place, it goes back about two years ago when a certain Group AOC went around on Saturday and was apalled by the way cadets kept their rooms. Did I mention it was a Saturday? Anyway, this certain individual led a crusade to first implement on the group level a doors open policy every morning to make sure cadets are cleaning their rooms. The principle it worked on was that if your fellow cadets walk by your room and it is a disaster, the humiliation suffered by that would force you to keep tidy quarters. While this argument never gained much support amongst cadets, when a different spin was put on it it appeared to get more traction. The new argument said that having doors open fosters an environment where cadets are more likely to meet each other and interact with one another, which therefore brings the squadron closer and things are accomplished better. If on my way back from class I see a lonely squadronmate sitting there by their lonesome I am more likely to come in and strike up a conversation with them. Makes sense? Maybe, but the catch was when all of the final details were being worked out of the policy it was usually a topic to discuss during a cadet Squadron Commander interview. Since there is a small level of military justification associated with this policy, any cadet who showed opposition to it was sure not to be put into a high level job because they "really didn't understand what makes good officers."

I can't say I necessarily blame the permanent party for trying to leave whatever mark they can on USAFA; they've got their careers to worry about and families back home. But it seems more often than not they care more about making it look like they're doing something at work rather than what would be best for cadets.

Throwing the Dog a Bone

One of the most prominent tactics the leadership uses here at the Academy is to throw the dog a bone. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it refers to how trainers deal with fighting dogs. Throughout their lives, trainers work the dogs until they can barely move, let alone be in perfect fighting shape. They will tie dogs up to treadmills for hours on end, put them on the brink of starvation, and beat them periodically. Then every once and a while, they may throw the dog a bare bone with no meat on it for them to chew on. To the dog, this "kind" and "generous" act by their captor is met with happiness, thankfulness, and praise for their master. But in all reality, this "treat" really isn't anything special at all, probably just some leftover table scrap that the trainer was going to throw away anyway. For at least a little more time, the dog doesn't rise up against his master and bite him in the neck. This is exactly how the Academy treats cadets.

Let's take mandatory breakfast as an example. A few years ago there wasn't mandatory breakfast. Then one day, in an effort to put the "M" back in military academy, someone thought it would be a good idea to force cadets to wake up at some unholy hour every morning to eat watery eggs. By doing this, the leadership now had more opportunities to punish cadets. They could get cadets for showing up late, being in the wrong uniform, and not standing at attention. The real genius of the act was establishing a new standard for cadet life. By implementing this new policy (which is generally looked at negatively), it gave the leadership a tool to reward cadets. Every once in a while we are "rewarded" with an optional breakfast day. And what is the sentiment associated with this optional day? Is it anger that we've been going to mandatory breakfast every other day, a major change in the status quo that wasn't around a few years ago? Is it apathy because this is how cadet life should always be? No! It is happiness, thankfulness, and we praise the leadership for being so kind and generous towards us, and even going so far as to say that they finally understand us.

Welcome

Welcome to my new blog! It is going to focus on issues at the United States Air Force Academy. My official job this semester is Squadron Angry Ranter, a new post invented by yours truly. The main goal of this blog is to make cadets more self-aware about their position in the Cadet Wing, as well as inspire them to be better Air Force officers. Enjoy!