Unprofessionalism

The two everyday occurrences which are emphasized as unprofessional around USAFA are having your hands in your pockets and using a cell phone in uniform. I never really understood why this was but I'd like to imagine the logic behind these two devious acts goes something like this:

First, if you have your hands in your pockets you are obviously unprofessional. The military is a profession, and people that stick their hands in their pockets should not be part of the military. If you were in a battle and you put your hands in your pockets they would get shot. If your hands are cold, too bad! It's not our problem, wear some gloves or something. Didn't bring gloves and the weather just turned from 60 and sunny to 30 and snowing? You think I really care?! Get frostbite, maybe it'll make you tougher.

Second, okay fine we'll let you clip your cell phone on your belt, but our niceness stops there. The first think we think of when we see someone in a uniform on their cell phone is: how dare they. They're probably on the Psychic Friends Network like an idiot wasting taxpayer dollars. Nothing productive comes out of servicemen using their cell phones . . . ever. We will soon implement a rule to allow people to spit on servicemen using their cell phones in uniform. You've been warned.

The Cosmic Battle Between First Group and Fourth Group

In the USAFA universe, there is a constant battle raging. Two incredibly powerful forces are in cosmic competition for the hearts and minds of the Cadet Wing. Each one is made up of one quarter of the cadets at the Academy. They are First Group and Fourth Group.

First Group - motto: First Group First. Only two different words describe the group which always strives to be the best. Year after year, in overall standings, First Group takes pride at wiping up the competition and being named group of the year. They are known for their strict standards, stractness, excellence, uptightness, and in their eyes, complete dominance of the Wing. Work hard and don't play.

Fourth Group - motto: Go Fourth and Conquer. On the opposite end of the Terrazzo lies Fourth Group. Year after year, they continue to be ranked at the bottom of the barrel. They are known for their relaxed atmosphere, funness, laziness, and lack of urgency. Don't work and play hard.

The other guys - They are kind of like the little brothers of the Wing. They are always torn between their older siblings, and don't really know where they belong. They will always switch it up in the standings, and certain incidents will point them one way or another. If we recall what happened in the freshmen-junior beerfest double date incident, it gave that group an edge toward Fourth Group. At the same time, when the story first broke and it was being explained to my lunch table, one quarter of the people I was sitting with were on alcohol probation. Go Fourth and Conquer!

Everyone is essentially a product of their surroundings. First Groupers have to embrace the stractness to survive, and Fourth Groupers have to put up with a certain level of mediocrity to not go crazy. There are of course exceptions across the board, a perfect example is how Fourth Group is the only group in the Wing to be doing a Saturday AM Inspection this weekend. Which reminds me, if anyone happens to really know their way around a military drawer and is sticking around Friday night instead of going out, give me a call. Different leadership techniques and attitudes. Who makes better officers? That's for you to decide!

The Rape Stairs

There is a certain set of stairs between the upper and lower firstie parking lots which has earned itself a unique nickname. They are the rape stairs. I'm sure it really does not mean anything and the stairs just follow the natural slope of the hill, but these stairs show the awesome power of cadet rumors. I don't know where the rumor started, when the stairs were built, or any real science behind it; but I do know the logic behind the nickname.

Supposedly the stairs are at such an angle that they enable victims of sexual assault to magically go up them much faster than their assailants. The story usually goes that because how spaced out the stairs are and what angle they're at, girls have a natural ability to fly up them while men awkwardly struggle to conquer them. The area they are in gets to be dark and lonely at night, and the bottom of the stairs is exactly the right spot where male cadets wait to get their prey. But wait! Not this time creep-o! As soon as you try and follow that female she will be long gone at the top of the stairs and you won't be able to catch up.

I bring this up to start illustrating a point on how powerful rumors are around the Academy. This one in particular is interesting because of how ridiculous it is, how widespread it is, and how long it has been in circulation.

The Magic of the Clipboard

Today is our class' 100's night celebration. We celebrate 100 days until graduation with a big dinner where we also find out our first base assignment. Our class color is silver. In order to show class pride, I wore a silver blanket around all day kind of like a cape along with my class colored baseball hat. I got a lot of confused looks, especially from teachers who weren't familiar with our official class color, but what really struck me was the fact that nobody told me to take off my cape or hat throughout the day. This was an excellent example of what I call the "confidence principle."

As long as you look like you know what you're doing, nobody questions you. All you need to do is have self-confidence and remain composed and everyone around you assumes you have a good reason to be doing what you're doing. Around the Academy, there are two items which reinforce this principle: the walkie-talkie and the clipboard. If you walk around with a walkie-talkie, you are THE authority. Whatever you say goes and nobody can stop you. The same goes for the clipboard, as long as you look down at it with a dissatisfied look every once and a while you are obviously important.

This makes me want to conduct a social experiment. I'm considering showing up to school in a few weeks dressed in a chicken costume. I'm betting right now I would be able to get away with it.

Check it out

I would like to give mad props to Hub Feinstein Studios for creating this video. Quite possibly the best video ever about the Academy. Watch and enjoy!

Three Types of Firsties

In my opinion I categorize firsties into three different categories: checked-out, hands-off, and ahhhhh! The first type is the typical case of senioritis: only a few days left, I've done a lot of work so far, might as well have fun the last few days I'm here. These may be the most toxic of all, but they really don't pose an actual threat to the cadet wing. They may take a hit on an AMI once and a while because vaccuuming wasn't a top priority, but they generally keep to themselves and don't mess anyone else up.

The "hands-off" firsties are those who dread not graduating. They are constantly stressed, don't want to have fun, stay in their rooms a lot, and play by the rules. The stories about the firsties who got late grad days before graduation haunt "hands-off" firsties in their sleep, and they have a tendency to resemble an old paranoid hermit.

The "ahhhh!" firsties are those who just realized they only have a few days left to make an impact on the Academy. Today the count is 105 (but who's counting?!) days until graduation, and the "ahhhh!" firsties are just awakening that they can make a real difference being the elders of the wing. I would classify myself into this category. While many may get the impression that I'm just a pissed off firstie who is fighting the man for no reason, the exact opposite is true. I want to make this a better place than how I left it, and I recently figured out there is only a limited amount of time to do that. I truly love this institution and respect what it is trying to accomplish; even though I may not agree with all of the means it uses to get us there. The real goal of this blog is to start a dialogue between cadets so attitudes and policies can be changed instead of spreading infinite amounts of cynacism.

Anti-social

Often times when I tell someone I'm from the Air Force Academy the next question is, "Oh do you know so-and-so?" Most of the time, my response is, "no, never heard of them." There is a small possibility I know Cadet Smith from Squadron 38, but it is very unlikely I know Tammy from Long Island. Now I consider myself a fairly sociable person, I have a good number of friends and my personal hygiene is at least above average. So then why do I know so few people at a school of only 4,400 students?

One of the reasons is our small class sizes. While the quality of education is top notch, it also limits day to day social interaction between peers. There are even people in my own major in my graduating class that I probably don't even know.

The institution also does a fine job of keeping us isolated and anti-social. Some of the key rules which accomplish that mission are that freshmen can't hang out with upperclassmen, and as a freshman you have to stay in your squadron area. You are allowed extremely limited interaction with other freshmen who aren't in your squadron up until Recognition. You have seen that guy's face before in a mass briefing, but you definitely don't know him by name. Also, the institution does not provide any sort of public transportation for cadets. Besides going into all of the DUIs minor public transportation could deter, introducing cadets to the local community would be beneficial for the public as well as the cadet population.

Another thing is the lack of quality hangouts around campus. Sure there is the church-sponsored Oasis lounge with a coffee machine and big-screen TV, but for most cadets that is the only place in a 20 mile radius (see Parking rant) that you can sit down and chill out with friends. There's also a mentality that when cadets do go off campus the last people they want to hang out with is other cadets. And this is a very strange and perplexing sentiment I'm not able to fully grasp. The closest movie theater to campus is right out the South gate at Chapel Hills mall. The prices are the lowest in town, parking is easy to access, and the movie picture quality is always the best. But when cadets go out to the movies they prefer to go out to the movie theater on Powers Road way on the other side of town if they can spare the time. For some reason cadets don't like hanging out near other cadets because . . . they . . . well . . . there really isn't a concrete reason. Some may say cadets remind them of the open-air prison they go to school at, and some may claim that all cadets have annoying Type-A fighter pilot personalities, but the fact is there really isn't a reason we should automatically act hostile toward one another. If anything we should have each others' backs in the outside world. It's a strange sentiment but everybody feels it, automatic hatred when there is another group of short haired guys eating in Rong Cheng's.